Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Revisit - Agents - A rambunctious breed

I'm going to revisit this post I wrote a couple months ago because I plan to do a similar one on Writers tomorrow. :) Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Agents are a fascinating breed. They have stringent dietary requirements which call for them to consume extensive amounts of caffeine and a healthy abundance of ghastly query letters daily.

They may look like the rest of us, but they should not be approached in the wild. When cornered they turn skittish and look for an escape. Becoming particularly apprehensive when any acronyms are used, such as WIP or MC. Oddly, they seem to be calmed by the use of SASE.

In order to tame one of these wild beasts, one must first approach from a distance. Writing down all of the reasons why this creature should accept your offering. Many of these approaches are dismissed with a quick glance, as agents are finicky but generally know when they like something. You may do research to decide what type of offering might most satisfy their cravings, but you will find that each one is very different. The only ingredient they will agree that you must have is something they refer to as voice. I looked all over my pantry--I can't find it.

If you are able to interest one of these creatures in what you offer, they will ask to see more. Here is the most puzzling part about their kind. If they truly like what you have written for them, they will agree to work with you--then they will take your offering and dissect it like a frog in a science lab. Then, you must happily thank them for it.

How do you get one of these critters to feel that primal attraction for your offering?

You tell me, because I've been trying to figure that out all month and I don't think I'm any closer to having the answer.

~~~~~~~

LOL that was a fun stress reliever. Please don't take it as anything else, I have the utmost respect for agents. Particularly those that visit(or live in) the blogosphere. Writers, laugh while you may--tomorrow is devoted to you. Muahahaha! --ahem, maybe I've had too many four leaf clover cookies, I'm feeling punchy.

8 comments:

  1. Ha! This is great. I'm looking forward to the next one about writers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved it then! And I LOVE IT NOW! This is sooo awesome! HAPPY St Patty's day to ya! Jenni

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL I'm already laughing about tomorrows. I can only imagine how much you have on writers. We're even more weird than agents. I mean seriously messed up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You couldn't find voice in you pantry? I keep mine next to the flour and the sugar.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Davin! Hopefully that will be coming up shortly

    Jenni - Thanks! Same to you!

    Kasie - hahaha, yeah I was coming up with some ideas when I went to sleep last night.

    Angie - :D

    Jessie - Ooh! I didn't check there! lol ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Funny stuff, although the picture was dead serious. :-) Thanks for the chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cute! Looking forward to hearing about us writers.

    ReplyDelete