So, today is an update and a distraction.
First - the update: I've had two requests since I posted yesterday. Both from awesome agencies. *squeals*
Second - the distraction: I got a hilarious e-mail that I HAVE to post because I was laughing so hard when I read it that I actually snorted... and I'm not a snorter.
Random Thoughts of the Day:
~ I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
~More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
~ Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
~ I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
~ I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
~The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me, and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
~ There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
~ How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
~ I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
~ I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
~ The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
~ I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
~ Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantrontest is absolutely petrifying.
~ Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
~ How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
~ I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
~ Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's Gas as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm....Goonies"
~ What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow eachother?
~ While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
~ MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
~ Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
~ Bad decisions make good stories.
~ If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
~ Can we all just agree to ignore Blu-Rays or whatever else comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
~ There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
~ I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
~ "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
~ While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
~ I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
~ Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
~ Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is..
~ Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.
~ A little boy asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?
~ I wonder if cops ever get ticked at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
~ Was learning cursive really necessary?
~ LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."