Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Distractions

So, today is an update and a distraction.

First - the update: I've had two requests since I posted yesterday. Both from awesome agencies. *squeals*

Second - the distraction: I got a hilarious e-mail that I HAVE to post because I was laughing so hard when I read it that I actually snorted... and I'm not a snorter.

Random Thoughts of the Day:
~ I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

~More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

~ Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

~ I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

~ I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

~The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me, and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

~ There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

~ How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

~ I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

~ I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

~ The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

~ I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

~ Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantrontest is absolutely petrifying.

~ Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

~ How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

~ I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

~ Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's Gas as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm....Goonies"

~ What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow eachother?

~ While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

~ MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

~ Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

~ Bad decisions make good stories.

~ If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

~ Can we all just agree to ignore Blu-Rays or whatever else comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

~ There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

~ I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

~ "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

~ While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

~ I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

~ Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

~ Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is..

~ Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.

~ A little boy asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

~ I wonder if cops ever get ticked at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

~ Was learning cursive really necessary?

~ LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."

18 comments:

  1. Hehe, great distraction! And congrats on your requests. I'm sure more are to come!

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  2. Congrats on the requests! Definitely keep us updated.

    And I just read through this entire list going -- OMG ME TOO! Loves it!

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  3. Congrats on the requests! I hope they turn into offers. And I can't fold a fitted sheet to save my life.

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  4. That was great! And congrats on the requests. Let us know what happens!

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  5. Congratulations on the requests, that's totally awesome and I totally agree with #2 and #3. I know you didn't number them but I didn't want to write them out. Pure laziness.

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  6. This is so funny. Probably because it's so true. Is your friend a stand up comic, because this would be great fodder for a routine.

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  7. I'm so thrilled for your requests! I'm hoping to hear good news from your camp soon. :) Fingers crossed!

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  8. Congrats on the requests. That's so great.

    I was going to put LOL at the beginning of my response, but now that doesn't feel right. :D That was hilarious.

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  9. That's very exciting about the requests. Was that pretty fast? How long did it take for those agents to respond?

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  10. Thanks everyone :D I'm very excited!

    Jessie - Yeah, it was very fast. The full request from yesterday I queried on Monday. The partial from this morning I queried last night.

    Yay :D

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  11. Awesome on those requests!!! Woo-hoo!

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  12. Two requests - that is AWESOME! YAYY! *pulling for you; rooting for your; hoping for you*!!!

    "How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?" SO TRUE!! laughing

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  13. Congrats on the requests! Here's hoping for good news!

    Lynnette Labelle
    http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

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  14. Jenn, First off huge congrats! Good luck on keeping them interested! This list was so funny I had to stop reading. I'm at work and I couldn't keep quiet any longer. I got as far as the Goonies, though!

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  15. I am so excited for you over the requests. What a great development.
    And I have to agree with the LOL. When I see that in my comments, it does make me laugh:)

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  16. I hope requests will lead to offers..... Very funny thoughts. :O)

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