Monday, August 17, 2009

In Case You Were Wondering...

(For the purposes of this post, please be aware, cellulose = insulation. NO, I didn't know that before this weekend. YES, I am going green, I don't care if you think it's trendy.Now, back to our program.)

In case you were wondering, I didn't fall off the face of the Earth, or go fishing. I am currently in my attic--buried in cellulose.

This is not my favorite place to be.

There is no cause for alarm. I have several reasons to be certain I will make it through this.

1 - Cellulose must be edible, because I haven't died yet.

2 - I was able to chew through a stray internet wire and by rigging it to the fillings in my teeth I am able to get rudimentary versions of my e-mails printed on my brain. Convenient? yes. Comfortable? no.

3 - My next door neighbor kindly plays music in his jeep loud enough that it rattles my windows and I can, as they say, "Get jiggy wid' it." (Don't knock it. Until you've seen a woman covered in cellulose dancing--you haven't lived.)

4 - One corner of my roof is leaking, by carefully placing my head against the wall--in between two rusty nails, of course--I am able to get a little water. It tastes like tar, but it's wet.

5 - I am confident this time alone will give me plenty of time to brainstorm and outline my next 12 novels. When I get out of here (after MANY showers) I'm going to burn that keyboard up!

6 - I'm reasonably sure that this will get me an agent. Why? Who doesn't want to represent a writer who is handy, charismatic (HEY! No laughing! I am totally enjoying my own company!) and could go on Survivor?

Until I make it out, feel free to comment.

Oh, and pray for rain.

9 comments:

  1. Cellulose. When I first saw this I read it as, "Cellulite = insulation" and I was thinking, "She has a point!"

    Glad to hear you're "Surviving" well!

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  2. lol. We want photos of YOU covered in cellulose. Maybe it will be on your jacket cover ;)

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  3. The cellulose looks nicer than the traditional, fiberglass insulation. Imagine being covered in that!! I'm itching just thinking about it. Your attic doesn't sound like such a bad place the way you describe it. :)

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  4. LOL at number three!!!! I have that same kind neighbor *sigh* too kind.

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  5. Wow, you really know how to party, Jenn.

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  6. Best of luck! I hope you make it out alive!

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  7. *LAUGHING!!*

    okay, you said no laughing, but I am anyway!

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  8. We insulated our attic last summer, FUN!! Haha, not.

    But, I have an award with your name on it so that's motivation to stay alive and not choke on cellulose!

    http://acjblogger.blogspot.com/2009/08/kreative-blogger-award-d.html

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  9. When we insulated our basement and garage it was fibreglass it was itchy and horrible. This looks better, although I'm not sure about being locked away for days on end.

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