Tuesday, November 3, 2009

She's ALIVE! / Writers = Villains Post

Yes, I'm back. Other than a bad cough I can't seem to kick, I'm feeling much improved. May I give you one piece of advice about H1N1? Don't get it. All those silly people wearing masks didn't feel so silly last week. It. Stinks.

The End.

Now, time for the long awaited post about Villains/Writers.

Think writers don't have anything in common with James Bond Villains? Think again. Villains are writers with slightly stranger habits. Stroking white persian cats while plotting total world domination, for example. Although, I do know a few writers who do exactly that.

Writers spend all their time trying to figure out how to make their characters lives harder. Sounds like a villain, no? What more can be thrown at them? Having the parents murdered, the wife run over by a train and the daughter stolen by robot ninjas isn't enough--writers must do more. They strive for complication on all levels.

Writers make nothing easy. (Ask any one of them who is simply waiting for a query response and you'll see what I mean.)

They strive constantly for control of every aspect of an entire world. They want to know what everyone is doing, when they're doing it, what they're feeling and who they're feeling it with. They want to make sure they have absolute control of every aspect at their fingertips. Can anyone say "Big Brother"?

The similarities are clear, the only difference I can think up is that writers (if at times begrudgingly) usually allow their characters to have a happy ending. Oh! and most writers don't end up dead or in prison at the end of their books--I think.

So what do you think? What James Bond Villain are you the most like?


  1. I don't watch enough James Bond to pick a good villain, but it would have to be a sexy, smart, woman with OCD tendencies who loves spreadsheets. :)

    Glad you're feeling better.

  2. You are so funny Jenn. I loved this. I'm glad you are feeling better and I'm also glad I'm not a character in one of your books--even if you did give me a happy ending. :)

  3. So glad u are feeling better. The pic reminded me that I watched Young Frankenstein this pass weekend too funny.

  4. Glad your feeling better, I had it at the beginning of October and am just barely feeling like I can run without hacking up a lung.

    Evil villian? I think I'm more like the evil girl at school who everyone thinks is awful.

  5. You're back! It seems like we haven't talked in ages (okay, my perspective is a bit skewed, but I like you!) :)

    As to the whole villain thing, I'm not a big James bond movie watcher, but I do remember that gigantic metal mouth guy on the space ship. I want to be him because then I would be memorable and really stand out in a crowd. That seems like two things that could benefit me as a writer.
    Also, I read once that a large majority of writers do have cats. lol

  6. So sorry you had to go through swine flu. Yuck. I definitely see the whole world domination parallel with writers. I mean, we not only dominate worlds. We create them first and then dominate.

  7. Jamie - I'm sure we can find a bond villain for you... if not, we'll make up one!

    Natalie - LOL! Maybe I'm the only one who beats up my characters. ;)

    Analisa - Young Frankenstein rocks!

    Patti - Aww... no awful thoughts here. :)

    Candi - LOL, I miss you too! :) I think the guy you are referring to is named JAWS. Awesome choice, by the way.

    Jessie - I'm glad you can relate, I was starting to wonder if I was just a bully. ;)

  8. Glad you are feeling better. I missed the laughs I always get when I stop by here.

  9. I'd have to make up my own villain. James' would never be able to capture the evil that is me. Mwahaha!

  10. This is so true! And really, writers are just misunderstood, like most villains. ;)

  11. LOL That's funny stuff. I would agree. I love playing the villain. My poor, poor characters. As far as James Bond villains I seem to only remember the actors who played Bond (yummy), but none of the villains.

  12. Susan - So glad it entertained you :)

    Lotusgirl - you already have the evil laugh...the rest should be easy.

    ElanaJ - You're right! I feel totally misunderstood! ;)

    Kasie - Here is my ultimate confession... I've never seen any James Bond movie in it's entirety. :o I know... shocking--villainy at it's best.

  13. You gave me your H1N1. That makes you my top villain right now. Glad you're better though.

  14. The pic reminded me that I watched Young Frankenstein this pass weekend too funny.
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