Monday, December 7, 2009

Not DIY--but PSA

Hello everyone. I know, I know--I promised some DIY posts and you'll be getting them. But this week, I felt it especially important to make a Public Service Announcement that could very well save lives. It is this:

The Cardio Cinema may be hazardous to your health.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Cardio Cinema, let me explain. It is a special movie theater in a gym. The lights are low, the movie is loud and intense--and you are on the exercise equipment of your choice.

If, like me, you are an unbelievable klutz...it can be a lethal combination.

Let me set a scene for you. Let me clarify that by doing so, I am in no way admitting to a similar situation in which I developed bruises all over my body.

I repeat, I admit nothing.

Let's say someone entered the Cardio Cinema, prepared for some jogging time on the treadmill. A dark, intense movie is in full swing--"Mission Impossible" perhaps, maybe near the end when they're on the train and it's very dark.

This person may find an empty treadmill and finally, through the aid of a cell phone light, find that stupid "Quick Start" button. Success! They are jogging, they are enjoying a good movie, they don't even have to think about the fact that they're exercising.

Quickly, they become so engrossed in the movie, there is no attention paid to the exercise equipment. The left foot may wander to the unmoving edge of the treadmill, where it is puzzled when it is no longer moving. The right foot meanwhile is still trying to keep the body upright so it moves twice as fast while screaming, "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

Even in this precarious state, the rebelling eyes are still desperately watching Tom Cruise to see if he gets decapitated by the helicopter blade--after all, he seems to be in more danger than them... right?

WRONG.

What happens then, you may ask. Well, I suppose they could fall on their stomachs and get flung off the back of the treadmill, just as the scene moves to a lighted interior train car. Yes, the timing is perfect for everyone behind them to gasp and stare.

Desperate to avoid someone calling 911, this person may jump to their feet as though this was a planned stunt to go along with the movie. A little wave of the hand will surely settle everyone down as they climb back on the treadmill and quietly whisper, "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" under their breath until everyone's eyes return the the movie screen.

Yes, it could happen.

So, let me caution you. If you are going to use a Cardio Cinema, choose a well lit movie and keep your eyes on your feet.

Thank you for your time.

25 comments:

  1. Do these things really exist? And it sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

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  2. Hehe, that poor person! That would indeed be painful, both to body and ego. Thanks for the heads up.

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  3. Oh my goodness!!!! I do not have the funds to join a gym so I have never heard of this...does sound like an interesting way to kinda lose yourself while exercising!! But wow...trying to locate and start up a treadmill in the dark...yikes!

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  4. Oh my, well it sounds like a blast! Except my clumsy butt would be one of those most needing this disclaimer.

    You are wise. How great you were right there to see this happen to the person in front of you, to take notes and share with us! ;)

    Hilarious post.

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  5. LOL! I love how you all assume it was someone else and not me. Yes, let's go with that. ;)

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  6. LOL! I'm not laughing at you....well, actually I am. But only because I could see myself doing the same exact thing. Man, that does sound like a very dangerous concept. When I was watching TV once at the gym and jogging on the treadmill, I happened to glance down just in time to realize I had slowed my pace and was on the end. One more minute and I would've been off the back.

    So, how is "your friend" are her bruises gone. Will she ever go back? :)

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  7. "My friend" is healing... slowly. Apparently when this happens, you get bruises in the oddest places.

    She doesn't intend to go back to that gym again... ever. Luckily, it wasn't her normal gym, so she dodged a bullet there. ;)

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  8. Oh my!! I don't want to laugh at your hypothetical incident because it sounds so painful. But it is a bit funny. :)

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  9. You are hilarious! I will remember never to visit such an establishment. :)

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  10. I already know treadmills hate me, so I wouldn't find myself in a dangerous situation like this hypothetical person. ;) Be careful next time! I mean, she should be careful.

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  11. LOL! I can't believe it!!! That's just so stinkin' funny. Now I want to find a Cardio Cinema just to see if someone else will do it, too. =)

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  12. LOL! You've got a mean streak, Danyelle--I like it. ;)

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  13. NO way! I would knock my teeth out, too, if my gym had that!

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  14. Glad your friend is doing okay, Jenn. She must be very very embarrassed.

    I've got to say, 'cardio cinema' sounds awesome. I have a pretty good sized home gym in my garage -- maybe I should come up with some ways to make it more cinema-ey.

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  15. I've never heard of Cardio Cinema. I don't know if they have those in my town but I'll check it out.

    On second thought, I break a dish or drop something I shouldn't pretty much every day. I don't know, you tell me: Maybe I'd better stick to simpler exercises like sit ups and jumping jacks?! :)

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  16. HAHAHAHA (I am still laughing out loud...) I love you Jenni!

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  17. LOLOLOLOL!

    I miss you so much!
    Hurry up and call me WOMAN!!!
    Jenni

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  18. Hi! I hopped over here from Candice's blog. Hilarious (but not) story! ;-)

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  19. That would indeed be painful, both to body and ego. Thanks for the heads up.
    Work from home India

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  20. I have something for you over at my blog :)

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  21. Havent seen any posts from you in a long time. Hope everything is okay in your world. Just wanted to say I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. Check out xmas poem when you get a chance because you are a part of it. Click for my holiday message!

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  22. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  23. What charming question

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  24. So embarrassing, but so funny - sorry had to laugh. I could see myself doing the same thing. So fun to meet you yesterday. I'm already liking your blog.

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