Sunday, February 28, 2010

Something, Something, Something...Dark Side

There is something sinister going on at Gold's Gym. Not to worry, it isn't just any Gold's Gym--it isn't even my Gold's Gym--it is a nearby Gold's Gym that has gone over to the dark side.

Trust me, we're talking wicked voodoo magic here. It's the only possible explanation for the events that have occurred in this particular gym location...or at least the only one I'm willing to admit.

Regular readers of my blog may already be aware of another *ahem* mishap I've had on a gym excursions before. It may have involved a treadmill and a Cardio Cinema--lethal combination. This is part of my proof that something dark is happening here because it was at the SAME GYM LOCATION! *buh buh buum!*

Let me tell you of the unfortunate incident that occurred on Friday, February 26th, 2010.

It was a cold, wet day. I was in a different part of town than I usually roam. A place known in local circles as A.F. I went about my routine as usual. I swam my laps, then stretched in the hot tub and sauna--exactly as I do several times a week in my own gym to no ill effect. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred. After a few minutes in the steam room, I grabbed my towel and walked into the locker room.

As usual, I'd forgotten which locker I had placed my bag in. I paced back and forth, trying to remember where I'd been standing, but somehow...everything seemed different. Finally, I remembered it had been locker 13. Yes, locker 13--mysterious, no? That was when it hit me...

I was surrounded by men.

Men in towels, with jaws hanging wide open.

Yes, I'd been walking around in the men's locker room for over a minute.

Naturally, I handled the situation with grace and dignity. I threw my towel over my head, screamed, "Aaahhh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" and ran out of the locker room.

As I stood, panting by the pool, I couldn't help but hear the outburst of laughter from the men who'd witnessed my unfortunate incident.

Now you've seen the evidence, you decide. Were there sinister machinations at work? Or was I just silly enough not to realize that the locker rooms were swapped from their locations at my normal gym?

One word of warning. Your responses may or may not determine whether I give you a cookie.

35 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I'm still laughing. I haven't stopped laughing since you told me this (not literally, Candi, but in my mind for sure). Thank you for making me feel better about my small (in comparison to this) mishap.

    And, ahem, yeah, it has to be the gym's vodoo dark curse. This has nothing to do with you. It's the gym. Maybe you should take a poll next time you go.

    Question 1: Has the treadmill ever tried to kill you?
    Question 2: Has the locker room ever switched places on you?
    Question 3: Do you think this gym location is cursed?

    That might solve the mystery.

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  2. Jenn, You life is like a the movies when you see it coming and you say to the girl "Don't do it. look up you are going the wrong way" but some how the girl never hears.

    I agree with Kasie a poll may be in order.

    BTW you were the winner of my giveaway.

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  3. You have just proved the theory that we are humans and do, um, silly things. Besides, it made for a great story!

    (I like peanut butter no-bake cookies best.)

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  4. JENN!!!!!

    LOL!

    The thing is, I think I've done this before. I KNOW I did it in high school, went into the boy's restroom. And I think I've done it in the gym, but I've blocked the details from my memory. Stupid Gold's Gym. You should seriously complain...but then that might be embarrassing. :)

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  5. SO, so funny! I have indeed had altercations with treadmills, and of course, swimming is always embarrassing for me. I think we've each experienced the mistaken restroom debacle at some point, but to be surrounded by men while doing so takes it to another level. Lol. Excellent post. You are an awesome storyteller.

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  6. ha! oh, I needed that belly laugh this morning. thanks :D

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  7. LOL! OMG! How sinister indeed! This truly made me laugh and I wasn't sure where it was going at first, but love it!

    Don't worry, at least you got to look at some men! ;)

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  8. Evil machinations indeed. Bah hahaha! Um. I mean. Aw. Sorry.

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  9. HA! That's hilari- er, I mean, that's definitely voodoo. Definitely, definitely voodoo. The entities of the cosmos have it out for you, surely. Next time, maybe you should look closely at the labels on the door, just in case a witch switched them on you. :P

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  10. That's why I don't go to gyms. On the other hand you have a great story to tell.

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  11. Holy Embarassment!!! Is it wrong that I laughed? I should feel bad. *I'm sorry* But really I'm thinking *that's so funny, i'm glad it didn't happen to ME!!!* Bwahahahaha! ♥

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  12. ROFL! I would have died of embarrassment. I think you handled it nicely, the whole running and screaming thing. Just think of the thrill you gave all those guys. HAHAHAHA!! You probably mad their day.

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  13. Hopefully, you had your bathing suit on! Funny story.

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  14. How is it possible you didn't mention this incident while we were talking today!!! I am rolling right now (not literally, Kasie). I especially love the part where you throw the towel over your head and run screaming from the locker room. PRICELESS! Yes, we will be laughing about this forever (with you of course). Okay, I'm still laughing. Yep, still giggling uncontrollably here. I wish I could have seen those guy's faces. Yep, still laughing.

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  15. ROTFL!! Oh, my gosh, thanks so much for the laugh! And hey, at least you go to the gym. :)

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  16. That is hilarious! I went into the mens' bathroom in Las Vegas one time. That was funny, but this is way better!

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  17. TeeHee. Lucky. I've always wanted to see the inside of the guys locker room (kidding - really I am). It seems like it would have smelled guyish to sort of tip you off. :)
    Michelle Teacress

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  18. Ok, this sooo happened to me at Wal-Mart!! They all look so much alike that I didn't realize that the bathrooms are sometimes opposite of my normal Wal-Mart! I mean really, if places insist on looking so much alike, they should really be EXACTLY the same!! I'm with you on this one! We should draft a law about this and take it to congress or something.

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  19. LOL! I am so happy to hear you all agree with me (even if I can barely make it out with all the laughter). You all get cookies. ;)

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  20. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. I've walked into the men's restroom before--it's always extremely embarrassing--but the locker room is worse.

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  21. Yep, I did the exact same thing in an out of town WalMart whose bathrooms were reversed from the one where I usually shopped. Luckily, I did notice the urinals before I got all the way to a stall.

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  22. Oh, Jenn! That is way too funny!!! The fact that you walked in there is funny enough, but wandering aimlessly looking for your locker, oblivious to a locker room full of men...OMG! Hilarious. But of course it wasn't your fault. Definitely not. I'm sure there's a reason it's the men's fault. Yeah, let's blame the men! :-)

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  23. OH MY GOSH!! So sorry for laughing!! That had to have been so embarrasing and funny at the same time!!

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  24. I blame the gym. When a gym/store is a part of a chain they should be aware that the second we walk in, we've been transported through both time and space and expect things to be in their natural places.

    That said....ROFL!!!

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  25. Bwahahahaha! You just reinforced my decision to join a ladies only gym! I'm staying with Curves:)

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  26. That settles it. It's time to get you a home gym.
    Eh, maybe not. Then we couldn't laugh at all your Gold's mishaps. ;)

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  27. Blame the architect!! Blame the gym!! Blame the gremlins from the dark side!! Poor you to fall victim of all three in one day!! ;0

    LOL you made me giggle!!

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  28. You just lived a Janette Rallison novel. So horrible and so funny.

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  29. LOLOL! Priceless... just priceless...

    Sorry been having phone/internet problems or I would've seen this sooner! Heheheh! LOVE IT!!!

    Jenni

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  30. What a great post! My sister Candi read it to me at work and all the nurses on my unit laughed about it when I told them. I have continued to retell your story 3-4 times this week to friends, and always the same response... belly laughs!... which I hear is great exercise and releases a lot of healthy endorphins. Who needs a gym?

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  31. Nicki! Hi! I've heard all about you. Thanks for stopping by and I'm happy to have provided such entertainment. I learned a long time ago...if you can't laugh at yourself in times like this, you end up crying. I prefer laughter and I'm happy to share. ;) So nice to meet you!

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