Monday, March 29, 2010

The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth

First, let me say that telling the truth is much less fun than lying. Most of my lies had an element of truth to them, which makes them more believable and makes your responses that much more entertaining.

Here are the truths. :)

1. I'm a licensed cosmetologist. I used to own/run a salon/day spa and it was a serious amount of fun.
~~~ This was a lie. I did own a salon/day spa, but I'm not a cosmetologist. I just managed it.

2. I moved all over when I was younger. I've lived in Las Vegas, Ohio, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, California, Washington, Arizona and Nebraska.
~~~ I've lived in all of the above except for Colorado, California, Arizona or Nebraska. Yes, that leaves the first four, although my parents live in Colorado so I've spent a serious amount of time there.

3. When I was in high school, my boyfriend's mom thought I was a bad influence on him and banned him from seeing me. I waited for over two years without dating him (or anyone else), or talking on the phone, seeing him at parties, anything--before I finally broke it off.
~~~ This is funny, because it is all true except for the length of time I waited. It was one year, not two. She thought I was a bad influence...primarily because I was a year older, from what I understand... which makes me the source of all evil, just sayin'.

4. When I was sixteen I got in a very bad car accident. While in shock, they had me fill out an accident report. The officer told me to draw a picture on it. So, I did. I put a lovely house and a smiley picture of the actual accident, but then... he wasn't specific about that point. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to like my picture.
~~~ This one is the truth. Yes, yes it is. That's how I roll. In fact, in the same accident, I also apparently yelled at the paramedic for strapping me to a board and not giving me a pillow/convinced the policeman that my mom would actually kill me when she found out (he didn't let her see me when she got to the hospital)/ and believed that I'd lost the ability to understand English (everyone else in the accident was Norwegian--no I'm not kidding).

5. I'm phobic of heights, but I've decided not to let it rule my life. Every year I try to do something to get over it. Rapelling, bungee jumping, skydiving, those free fall things--I've done it all to prove I'm stronger than my fear.
~~~I'm totally phobic of heights and I've done some of these things to overcome it. Everything except skydiving. Mostly because I'm not a fan of death.

6. I have five official birthday songs that I sing when it's someone's birthday. I figure why go with one when five will do it with style. Of course, by the time I'm done with the fifth one, the person has usually hung up the phone or fallen asleep, but I'm pretty sure they still appreciate me.
~~~ I have four current birthday songs, not five. Yes, I give the present of torture for your birthday. Want to be my friend?

See? Less fun than lying. Maybe I should lie a little in all of my blog posts. That sounds entertaining. You are officially warned.

P.S. I'm unplugging for the next week and a half. I'm going to Vegas for a big vacay with the extended family. You are hereby ordered to miss me immensely. :) Have a great Spring Break everyone!


  1. I WILL miss you intensely! *sob, sob* And you're so cool for drawing a picture on the police report. Sisters of darkness, unite!

  2. Have a great vacay. The cop story was hilarous and I'm afraid of heights, but have done nothing to get over it.

  3. Number four made me laugh out loud. Honestly, I probably would've done the same thing. What kind of dumb request is that... wouldn't it be smarter for the police officer to draw a picture of the scene himself, instead of expecting a shock victim to do it right then and there? Of course, I have to agree with him about one thing... I do disapprove of your choice of content... I would've drawn a puppy. :)

  4. I should have known!!! *sigh*

    Have a great week unplugging and have fun on spring break! =)

  5. LOL loved your lies/truth post.
    Have a fun break.

  6. Oh I would have loved to see that accident report picture :)

  7. Okay, I was totally wrong. Have fun on vacation!

  8. I'm still laughing about #4!! It reminds me of a patient I helped with who was convinced she was a rockstar:) Just so you know, that policeman had no sense of humor!

  9. I'm still laughing about #4!! It reminds me of a patient I helped with who was convinced she was a rockstar:) Just so you know, that policeman had no sense of humor!

  10. Fun! You should go skydiving though. It's sooo amazing. And you can't really tell how high you are when you're falling. ;)

  11. What a great sense of humor you have. I loved it.