Friday, September 24, 2010
Anyone Else Feeling Stalked?
At first, I thought it was flattering to have people pay so much attention to me. They seemed to be interested in everything about me. I tried not to blush and answered some of their questions--not all, of course, a girl has to maintain some of her mystery.
Then it became constant. My e-mail barraged by an assault of every kind. The questions got more personal, more invasive.
Am I happy with my local service provider? Do I feel I have a right to inheritance money from a distant duke relative I was perviously unaware of? Am I in need of legal assistance? Do I have a drinking problem?
Now it's downright offensive. No! I don't need hot girls now or Viagra. I don't even need Vicodin, (although my supply is admittedly running low).
It's gotten to the point I've had to relegate these stalkers to an entirely different part of my computer. Their own virtual prison, if you will. I've hired security from a little country called SPAM. You may not have heard of it. It's so top secret they don't even put themselves on the map.
Are they perfect? No. Just today I had to call them to pick up some loser who dared to question if I made enough money (I'm a writer, is there really any question?). But, do they make my life so much better? Absolutely.
In honor of Friday. I wanted to take a minute to honor my SPAM filter. It makes trudging through e-mail considerably less daunting.
Anyone else have some every day convenience we should be grateful for today? Have a happy weekend my bloggies!