Monday, March 29, 2010

The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth

First, let me say that telling the truth is much less fun than lying. Most of my lies had an element of truth to them, which makes them more believable and makes your responses that much more entertaining.

Here are the truths. :)

1. I'm a licensed cosmetologist. I used to own/run a salon/day spa and it was a serious amount of fun.
~~~ This was a lie. I did own a salon/day spa, but I'm not a cosmetologist. I just managed it.

2. I moved all over when I was younger. I've lived in Las Vegas, Ohio, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, California, Washington, Arizona and Nebraska.
~~~ I've lived in all of the above except for Colorado, California, Arizona or Nebraska. Yes, that leaves the first four, although my parents live in Colorado so I've spent a serious amount of time there.

3. When I was in high school, my boyfriend's mom thought I was a bad influence on him and banned him from seeing me. I waited for over two years without dating him (or anyone else), or talking on the phone, seeing him at parties, anything--before I finally broke it off.
~~~ This is funny, because it is all true except for the length of time I waited. It was one year, not two. She thought I was a bad influence...primarily because I was a year older, from what I understand... which makes me the source of all evil, just sayin'.

4. When I was sixteen I got in a very bad car accident. While in shock, they had me fill out an accident report. The officer told me to draw a picture on it. So, I did. I put a lovely house and a smiley sun...no picture of the actual accident, but then... he wasn't specific about that point. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to like my picture.
~~~ This one is the truth. Yes, yes it is. That's how I roll. In fact, in the same accident, I also apparently yelled at the paramedic for strapping me to a board and not giving me a pillow/convinced the policeman that my mom would actually kill me when she found out (he didn't let her see me when she got to the hospital)/ and believed that I'd lost the ability to understand English (everyone else in the accident was Norwegian--no I'm not kidding).

5. I'm phobic of heights, but I've decided not to let it rule my life. Every year I try to do something to get over it. Rapelling, bungee jumping, skydiving, those free fall things--I've done it all to prove I'm stronger than my fear.
~~~I'm totally phobic of heights and I've done some of these things to overcome it. Everything except skydiving. Mostly because I'm not a fan of death.

6. I have five official birthday songs that I sing when it's someone's birthday. I figure why go with one when five will do it with style. Of course, by the time I'm done with the fifth one, the person has usually hung up the phone or fallen asleep, but I'm pretty sure they still appreciate me.
~~~ I have four current birthday songs, not five. Yes, I give the present of torture for your birthday. Want to be my friend?


See? Less fun than lying. Maybe I should lie a little in all of my blog posts. That sounds entertaining. You are officially warned.

P.S. I'm unplugging for the next week and a half. I'm going to Vegas for a big vacay with the extended family. You are hereby ordered to miss me immensely. :) Have a great Spring Break everyone!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

The awesome Mary Campbell from Writer's Butt Does Not Apply to Me gave me this awesome award a couple of weeks ago, so I'm excited to entertain you with my sweet little lies today. :) Thanks Mary!

I'm going to list five lies and one truth, let's see who can see through my skills of illusion! Muahaha...haa...ha...*ahem*

1. I'm a licensed cosmetologist. I used to own/run a salon/day spa and it was a serious amount of fun.

2. I moved all over when I was younger. I've lived in Las Vegas, Ohio, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, California, Washington, Arizona and Nebraska.

3. When I was in high school, my boyfriend's mom thought I was a bad influence on him and banned him from seeing me. I waited for over two years without dating him (or anyone else), or talking on the phone, seeing him at parties, anything--before I finally broke it off.

4. When I was sixteen I got in a very bad car accident. While in shock, they had me fill out an accident report. The officer told me to draw a picture on it. So, I did. I put a lovely house and a smiley sun...no picture of the actual accident, but then... he wasn't specific about that point. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to like my picture.

5. I'm phobic of heights, but I've decided not to let it rule my life. Every year I try to do something to get over it. Rapelling, bungee jumping, skydiving, those free fall things--I've done it all to prove I'm stronger than my fear.

6. I have five official birthday songs that I sing when it's someone's birthday. I figure why go with one when five will do it with style. Of course, by the time I'm done with the fifth one, the person has usually hung up the phone or fallen asleep, but I'm pretty sure they still appreciate me.

Okay, that's it. :) Leave your choice for the truth in the comments. This will be fun.

This award has been passed around a lot, so I'm only giving it to one person and that's Tahereh for being ridiculously, unreasonably hilarious. :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Don't You Wish You Could Read Minds?

There is a scene in ORACLE that is really fun and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Cam is able to read minds, and finds it quite entertaining. In this particular scene, he convinces Lexi to let him teach her to block someone from reading her mind. The chemistry between them is what makes the scene, but I've been thinking about how awesome it would be to have that ability...

Especially in the publishing industry.

Can you imagine how much easier it would be to write a query if you could read the agent/editors mind and know exactly what they wanted from you? What about alpha readers? How awesome would it be to read their minds and know exactly what they wish would happen next, or with readers in general--to know whether they saw that big plot twist coming a mile ahead and what exactly tipped them off?

Yes, it would be handy indeed, at least I think so. What about you? If you could read minds, what would you do with it?

Here is the scene from ORACLE that inspired this wildly speculative post. Enjoy!

~~~~~~

“I was hoping I could help you with that.” Cam leaned closer and continued. “Remember when I mentioned training? What if I taught you to block people—so they couldn’t read your mind?”

“You can do that?”

“I haven’t been trying to hide my abilities my whole life. I’ve been training. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty good at blocking.”

“And you want to teach me?” Lexi couldn’t keep the suspicion from her voice.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I would try to read your mind then teach you how to block me.”

“Ah, there’s the catch.” Lexi laughed. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Cam held still for a moment then shrugged. “Okay, it’s your call. I just figured you’d rather have me trying to read your mind when you know I am—and learn to block me. But it’s fine with me if you don’t learn. Then I can read it whenever I want.”

He grinned as Lexi’s mouth fell open and he stood to leave. “It’s been pretty entertaining so far.”

She jumped up and grabbed his arm as he started walking.

“Fine.” The word barely escaped through her clenched teeth.

He looked down at her hand on his arm, and then raised one eyebrow. She jerked her hand away and sulked back to her seat.

“How do we start?”

“Okay, I’m going to try to read your mind—and you’re going to try to feel me probing. Don’t try to stop me this time. Just try to notice me, get used to how it feels.”

“I’ve never noticed it when anyone has done it before.” Lexi grumbled.

“You weren’t trying.” Cam said, moving his chair directly across from hers so when he sat their knees were touching. She fidgeted in her seat. The way her heart raced when he got this close was irritating. “Are you ready?”

“No,” she said quickly. After clearing her mind with a few deep breaths, she nodded.

She tried to pay attention, but she had no idea what it was supposed to feel like. Cam was staring her down. It was getting dark outside now and she could actually see stars reflecting in his eyes. It was kind of weird, but pretty.

Cam laughed, and sat back.

“What?”

“Are you trying at all?” He shook his head with a grin, and then leaned forward and whispered. “Men don’t consider ‘pretty’ a compliment, just so you know.”

She could feel the heat rising up her neck. “Whatever, I’ll remember that when I meet one,” she muttered, but he ignored her.

“It should feel like tiny jabs at your thoughts. Almost like they are shifting back and forth in your head—it’s slight, but you can notice it if you try. Here.” He leaned forward and took her hands in his. “Maybe this will help.”

Lexi tipped her head to one side. “Seriously? How does that help?”

“It just does, now come on.”

Shrugging, she tried to keep her focus away from the tingles running up her arms. She let her mind wander over their time in Solara, starting with her arrival. When the scene with Cam and his knife flashed through her head, she finally felt his probing. He flinched, both physically and within her mind. It felt like a push on her thoughts, like someone was trying to shove them away. After the first one, she started to feel smaller and smaller pushes. It was very subtle, but she could feel it.

Letting her mind wander further, she grew more sensitive to the probing sensation. She thought through her time in the healing center, and to the Council Room, then Cam joining her in the hallway and how cute he’d looked—how she didn’t even recognize him.

A small smile curved the corner of Cam’s mouth and a wave of embarrassment washed over her. Reaching for the probe in her mind, she mentally pushed it as hard as she could.

Cam jerked back so hard his chair teetered back on two legs.

“Hey! Whoa!” he shouted as he tried to stabilize himself. Lexi grabbed his shirt and pulled him back upright.

“Thanks,” he said as he stared at her for a moment. He looked shocked.

“Was that—did I do that?”

“Yep.” He nodded. “You’re a natural. How did you know what to do?”

“I don’t know, it was instinct—I think.”

“Well, you were a little too forceful, but it worked. With some practice you’ll be able to move the probes to an alternate thought. They won’t even know you’re doing it. You can even feed someone false memories if you really get good—that trick has saved my life more than once.”

Lexi didn’t know how to respond to that, so she changed the subject.

“So you weren’t supposed to go flying backward though?”

“No, I’ve never seen that happen before. I think you’re so good at it because you’ve been protecting your secrets for so long. It really is instinctive to you.” The look that crossed his face was almost sad before he continued. “Again?”

“Sure, I’ll try to go easier on you.” Lexi smirked.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate that.” This time he leaned backward and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked around and for a minute she thought he’d changed his mind. Then she felt the slight prodding in her head. She took it and redirected it like he’d said, but it was much harder than she expected. She had no control over what thought took its place.

First, she jumped to her memory with Jo. She quickly pushed that aside and it came to rest on their tube ride in Solara. Cam’s red face flashed through her mind, and, with a grin, she pushed that aside too. Then it was the image that had been haunting her since yesterday—the picture of Etos followed by the memory of the crash. She lost all control.

The memory washed over her more vividly than ever before. It was like being there again. The mangled metal, the heat from the flames that consumed thirty feet below. By the end she was panting and sweating. She blinked a few times before she could focus on Cam. She was surprised to find him pale and shaking.

“I don’t understand—why was it so—real?”

“Because you pulled it forward intentionally, even though you didn’t choose that memory—you usually don’t try to think about it.” His voice sounded so small, Lexi didn’t know what to say. She felt bad for making him experience it. No one should have to see that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Cam shook his head and stood up. “No, it’s fine.” He tried to smile, but it fell short.

“It’s late. We’ll practice again another day.” Cam backed away from her toward the backdoor. “Goodnight, Twitchy.” Then he was gone.

Friday, March 19, 2010

I Think I'm In Love

Today I'm doing an absolutely random post. Don't worry...by the end I'm sure I'll figure out a way to relate it back to writing or something else useful. I will. Just you wait.

This week I've discovered my new favorite YouTube personality. His name is MysteryGuitarMan a.k.a. Joe.

Also, I love him.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, he is cute, but that's not the basis of my love. My love is based on his pure, unadulterated, awesomeness. If you have yet to be exposed to the to coolness that is the MysteryGuitarMan. This must be remedied--and it must be remedied now.

Here is one of my favorite videos of his. Yes, it combines cool music, cool video, and an iflip. Seriously, does it get any better than that?




Oh yeah, and the lesson to be learned here? Um... is that it is healthy to um... expose yourself--to stuff. See? Don't you feel educated?

If not, how about some classical music? That's educational, right?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Are You Feeling Lucky, Punk?

I've heard a lot of people talk about how much luck is involved in getting published. Some people say it's very little luck if you work very hard. Others are of the opinion that if you have the right contacts then luck isn't necessary. And there are many who think it is mostly luck.

What do you, my lovely/intelligent/awesome bloggy friends think? What percentage do you think is luck vs. skill vs. who you know?

Your public demands to know!!!

Also------- Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

My Life as a Teenage Zombie

A couple of months ago I was messing around with this idea. It has blossomed a lot since then, but I wrote a few paragraphs from the main character's POV. She's a zombie and her name is Charity, at least for now. She hates it and keeps accusing me of "branding her for life".

I feel like zombies are an under-represented segment of the population and I'm all about ending that.

Anyway, when I wrote this section up, I got two responses.

"Eww, yucky."
and
"Haha! That's gross! I love it!"

I thought I needed to get a few more opinions, so read about Charity the teenage zombie and tell me what your impression is.

~~~

Being a zombie sucks rocks. I'm sure the whole feasting on human flesh thing wouldn't be so bad eventually--and man would I love to see those snobby cheerleaders run when they saw me coming. Talk about zombie vengeance at it's best. But Mom and Dad wouldn't let me anyway. It'd be breaking "the zombie rules" and what's worse than being a teenage zombie? Being a grounded teenage zombie, that's what. I'm pretty sure we can't pretend much longer though, I'm starting to give new meaning to the words: bad hair day.

I think the worst part is that my brain hasn't decayed yet. I still remember what it was like to be human. They have it so easy. No worrying about pieces of your nose falling off when you're talking to a hot guy. Not that I get to talk to them, that's another thing--the fear of hot guys screaming and running can really damage a girl's ego, not to mention her social life. Which brings up yet another human advantage--no death breath.

Even hanging out at the mall is no fun. I mean really, I have too much respect for beautiful shoes to put my squishy feet in them.

~~~

So there is a little bit of the girl who's been hanging out in my head lately. What do you think?

Friday, March 12, 2010

Important Things--Like Confidence...And Socks

Have you noticed how much confidence kids have? Let me tell you about a conversation I had with my 7-year-old son the other day. We'll call him Guillermo (what? It makes me feel exotic).

Guillermo - I don't know if you know this, but I'm an incredible dancer.

Me - I know, I've seen you dance, you're very good.

Guillermo - Yeah, but that was last week. I'm pretty much a professional now.

Me - Oh yeah? How did you go from being very good to a professional in a week?

Guillermo - I decided to try some new things, and I did, and now I'm a professional.

Me - I know you're awesome, but I think the definition of professional means you get paid for doing it.

Guillermo - (pauses to think) Well--then you should start paying me.

So, here is my question. How do we go from having that kind of abounding confidence in ourselves and our abilities as children, to doubting every move we make as adults? I know many talented writers that question themselves and whether they can really do it on a daily basis. Many even let their insecurities get in the way of them finishing their projects...or worse, make them quit.

I want all of us to take the next week and be a little more childish. No, I don't mean you should start pulling each others hair and throwing spit wads. I mean that we should try and push our insecurities aside and believe in ourselves a little more.

When we do, we may just end up looking as awesome as this kid.



Oh! And about the socks. One of our blogger buddies, Tristi Pinkston, has a book coming out next week, and in conjunction with that, she is doing Operation Sock Hop in which she's asking people to donate socks to those in need. Go check it out and give, because there is nothing more important than making sure everyone can have toasty tootsies. ;)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

So, I Found Out I'm Pretty Much a Navy Seal

Up until late last year, I could barely swim at all. The doggy paddle was the max end of my aquatic skill level. I'd never taken much of an interest in swimming because I have asthma and doing a classic freestyle is out of the question. My lungs just don't have the capacity to maintain my breathing in that way--no, I know what you're thinking, it isn't simply because I'm ridiculously uncoordinated.

No, that's not it.

Really.

Anyway, so a few months ago I decided to try swimming for exercise and see how that worked for me. I figured maybe I could make up a stroke I could do on my back or something.

Yes, I said "make up" because that is exactly how much I knew about swimming. The idea that someone else had already made up a stroke that could be done on your back...a back-stroke per se...never occurred to me.

While at the pool that day, I noticed someone doing a stroke on their side so I copied the motions and have been doing it ever since. I started out unable to do even a quarter mile at a time, now I do a mile a day six days a week.

And. I. Love. It.

So the other day, I decided to check out You Tube and see if they had any instructional videos on the side stroke--I thought it might be a good idea to see if I was doing it correctly. Imagine my surprise when I found out that the side-stroke, the stroke I've been doing for a year, is the official swim style of the Navy Seals.





Yep, that's what I do six days a week. Yes, I recognize that I might look more the part of the seal than the navy when I swim, but the point is...um...the point is--------that swimming with me could very well save your life.

At least that's what I got from it.

Monday, March 8, 2010

ORACLE Excerpt

I thought I'd do an excerpt from my first book (ORACLE - YA Sci Fi) today since I don't remember the last time I posted one. This part is from chapter 3, and let's just say Lexi's having a really rough day. She was almost hit by lightning in the desert, woke up in a cave with a very badly broken arm, had a knife held to her throat and then been squeezed so hard she couldn't breathe and passed out. Here's the next section, let me know what you think.:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It felt like she was floating on a giant cotton ball. Afraid to move, she searched her mind for answers until visions of the cave flooded back. Her mind was clear. All pain was gone. She sighed, not sure whether she should be celebrating yet or not. This whole wondering if she was dead thing was getting old fast.

Lexi opened her eyes only a crack, not entirely convinced she wanted to know where she was. The walls of the round room were a light silver hue with a large expanse of shimmering glass on one side. Above her, the rounded ceiling reminded her of a dome on top of a cylinder. Everything was recognizable, but also strangely foreign.

She pulled aside the blood caked clothing from her left arm. Okay, so obviously all that stuff in the cave wasn’t a hallucination. But under the shredded cloth her arm looked perfect, as though she’d never broken it. Lifting her eyes, she drew in a breath so quick it choked her. Once again, she wasn’t alone.

The boy, Cam, was in the other bed. Lexi scrambled out of the covers, and backed against the wall. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for a door. There didn’t appear to be one. She unhooked a metal pole from the side of her bed and brandished it in front of her, wild and desperate.

Cam’s arms were folded behind his head. His body reclined back against the pillow. One gray eye opened slowly, took in her posture, and then closed again. “Relax. You’ll give yourself a heart attack. They might have healed you, but you’ve put your body through a lot. You could try being nicer to it.”

Lexi nearly choked. “Thanks for the tip. I seem to recall you weren’t exactly nice to my body either. Still have your knife with you?” She growled through clenched teeth.

His eyes opened, wide and innocent. “Knife? What knife? I’m hurt, Twitchy, really hurt. I’d think a girl could at least thank me for saving her life.”

She blinked. “T—twitchy?”

“Yeah, I made it up. Forgot your real name,” he said with a shrug. “You twitch around a lot in your sleep. It was either that, or Fingers. You’ve got the longest, skinniest fingers I’ve ever seen.”

She rolled her eyes. Of course he knew her name. He was just giving her a hard time. The urge to hit him with the pole was intense. It didn’t matter if he threatened her anymore. Only two minutes she’d been awake and already he was driving her crazy.

“Yeah, girls love having all their flaws pointed out in nicknames. You must get all the ladies.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Twitchy. I only date older women.”

Her grip tightened on her improvised weapon as she took a step forward.

A door appeared in the wall on the opposite side of the room and an older woman in an ivory jumpsuit entered. She had silver and white streaks in her hair, light blue eyes, and a sea-green jewel on each temple. Lexi stepped back again, no longer sure who was the greater threat.

The pole was ripped from her hands and flew through the air to the woman. She caught it and laid it on the floor in one fluid motion. Lexi gasped and took a step backward, her emotions churning within her head, each one fighting for dominance.

“That’s quite enough, Lexi. Thank you.”

“Who are you?”

“All your questions will be answered in due time. Please take a seat.” She gestured to Lexi’s bed and waited.

After a moment’s hesitation, Lexi walked back and sat down—ignoring the smirk that twisted Cam’s dirty face.

“Thank you. My name is Aya. There’s much that I must tell you, so please listen well. I trust your injuries are no longer bothering you?”

Aya looked straight at her, paying no attention to the insane escapee in the bed beside her. Lexi glanced at Cam, his eyes were closed again.

She sighed and turned back to Aya, her expression dubious. “Are you saying? What—that this lunatic is right?”

“Hey now, no name calling, Twitchy.”

Ignoring Cam was becoming easier. “You healed me?”

“Yes.” Aya nodded.

“How long have I been out?”

“Not long, it’s evening.”

Lexi raised one eyebrow. “It’s the same day?”

“Yes, well at least here it is.”

“Sure, okay.” Lexi nodded after a long pause, and rubbed her fingers against her knees. “So, did you use a normal wand or bring in a fairy to do the trick?”

Aya’s smile wavered for a moment, and her eyes hardened slightly. Lexi didn’t blink, refusing to lower her gaze. She was getting really tired of being messed with.

“This is the least of the things I will ask you to believe. You aren’t new to the incredible. Why are you fighting it?”

Lexi flinched, and turned her eyes back to her entwined fingers. “I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Aya frowned. “Yes, you do.” Her statement left no room to argue, but Lexi shook her head anyway. With a sigh, Aya moved closer to the bed, staring at her intently.

At first, Lexi felt only uncomfortable under her gaze. Then an intense pressure began building behind her forehead. It wasn’t painful, just weird—like a fountain bubbling up in her brain.

“Stop that. What are you doing?” Lexi leaned back into the pillows, but she couldn’t turn away. Her voice sounded small behind the geyser filling her mind.

The memory crashed over her, pulling her under and tying her up with its motion. Her secret expanded on the wall for everyone to see.

╦ ╦ ╦

A young girl with dark curls sat on a pink, ruffled bedspread. Her pajamas were blue with pink bows. She bounced in place, unable to control her excitement. A blonde girl sat across from her, grinning expectantly.

“Just tell me. What’s so exciting?”

Lexi took a deep breath, but couldn’t contain her grin. “I’ve wanted to tell someone for so long, but I just—didn’t. You’re the only one I really want to tell, Jo.”

Jo giggled, “All right, so tell me.”

“I—well, I can move things.” Her voice was so soft, it was barely audible. She leaned forward until a single dark curl fell across her face. Blowing it out of the way, she looked at her friend, waiting for a response.

“What do you mean, silly? Of course, you can move things.”

“But I can move things without touching them—just, you know, by thinking it.”

Jo looked at her for a moment, before laughing again. “Be serious!”

Lexi's brow furrowed. "No, I am serious. I’ll show you." She concentrated on a delicate glass ballerina on Jo's dresser. Jo laughed, but followed her friend’s gaze. The figurine lifted a couple of inches and hovered gracefully in the air. Biting her lip, Lexi focused harder and made the beautiful dancer spin in a tight circle.

Jo’s piercing scream tore through the room and Lexi jumped backward, her concentration broken. She’d expected Jo to be surprised, but not scared. The tiny ballerina fell back to the dresser and shattered.

She looked at Jo and blinked. Her friend backed into a corner of the room and stared at Lexi in horror.

“Jo?” Lexi whispered, her eyes wide. Her feet moved forward of their own volition, but stopped when her friend’s face went pale and she recoiled farther into the corner. Watching her felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped down Lexi’s spine.

As if through a haze, she watched Jo’s fingernails scratch at the walls around her, frantically searching for a way out. Lexi’s best friend, her only friend, was desperate to escape her.

Lexi backed away, shaking her head, dazed. Scrambling for her Strawberry Shortcake backpack, she ran from the house. Her feet bare, and her pajamas damp with her tears.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

McDonalds Giveth, McDonalds Taketh Away

Good ole' MickeyD's taught me a very good lesson about writing this week. I know what you're thinking...if we're learning writing lessons from a fast food restaurant, what's the world coming to?

Touche' my friends, touche'. Just let me tell my story, and then decide whether or not the lesson is worthwhile.

The other morning, I stopped by my local McDonald's for a fruit parfait. As Backpack from Dora would say, "Mmm mmm mmm Delicioso!" Or something multi-cultural like that.

As I pulled into the drive-thru. They did the customary greeting where they try to convince you to buy more food than you really need in an effort to make all of America more spherical. Usually, I can resist these pretty well. But on this day, it was snowy and cold...and they played to my weakness. The conversation went a little something like this.

MD's - "Welcome to McDonalds! Would you like to try a steaming cup of our gourmet hot chocolate today?"

me - *long pause while I dream of hot chocolate*

MD's - Um...can I help you?

me - Yes, actually, I would love a gourmet hot chocolate.

MD's - A hot chocolate?

me - Yes, and a fruit parfait. (I know, I'm a health nut...what can I say? ^ insert sarcasm here^)

MD's - What kind of hot chocolate did you say?

me - *long pause of utter confusion* Um... gourmet?

MD's - *long pause while they look up the definition of gourmet* I'm afraid we don't have any hot chocolate.

me - *whimpers* You don't? Why not?

MD's - I guess we're cleaning it or something.

me - *cries*


Yes, folks, that's how it went down. What can we learn from this excursion? We can learn that we shouldn't lead our readers to believe they will receive something and then never give it to them. We must meet the expectations we set for the reader. Otherwise we leave them crying and questioning the meaning of life in the McDonald's drive-thru... or, um... disappointed at the end of the book (assuming they finish it at all).

So? Was it a good lesson? Or am I just desperate to give meaning to my disheartening drive-thru experience.