Monday, February 28, 2011

Yay! I'm Getting a Kindle!

I went to a Writers' Conference last week and held an Amazon Kindle for the first time. It was love at first sight. So, after one week of talking about it constantly... my husband ordered me one last night! *take note ladies--it works*

So, needless to say, I'm pumped and feel woefully underprepared for this new addition to my family. For those of you who have a Kindle, tell me your favorite parts about the way it works and what you can do with it. For those of you who don't, tell me about how jealous you are... or tell me about why you don't want one of those darn Kindles and why. I know e-books are a hot topic these days. I'm curious to see how many of you think they're awesome vs. think they are the death of all that is good in the Universe.

Let's chat!

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Special Kind of Crazy

I was recently talking to my mom about my friend, Kasie, who was considering two offers of representation from fantastic agents. Our conversation went like this:

Mom: So, how will she pick?

Me: She'll talk to them and see what she thinks, then make her decision.

Mom: Well, what are they offering?

Me: *pause* To represent her?

Mom: But is one offering a better deal? Like more money or better perks?

Me: No, this is just to represent her. They don't pay her for that. In fact, she pays them...but not until they sell her books.

Mom: How do they sell her books?

Me: They send them out on submissions to editors and see if any of them want to publish it.

Mom: *silence*

Me: Hello?

Mom: So, let me get this straight. Writers spend years struggling through, trying to perfect the craft, to keep learning and writing until finally, if they're lucky and work hard enough--they nab an agent... and then basically, they start querying all over again?

Me: *long pause* Um... I've got to go.

I think we have to be a special kind of crazy to pursue this career. Not everyone can understand the things we put ourselves through for our dreams. May I say I feel lucky to be surrounded by special people like you? :)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

To Kasie! *Fashionably Late, No?*

Today, I wanted to do a post about a wonderful friend and amazing writer, Kasie West. For those of you that haven't been to her blog. DO IT. She's hilarious and pretty darn cute. *See picture to the left--Yes, she's that cute--For reals*

Kasie is one of my crit partners and she's superb. She writes dialogue like nobody's business and her love interests make me swoon. (Seriously, Kasie...when do I get to read more about Trevor already???)

Anyway, she posted on her blog last week about signing with the fantabulous Michelle Wolfson. I'm so excited and happy for her. She's so happy with Michelle. I never thought it possible, but they both seem to be an equal amount of crazy. I've literally never seen a better fit.

Pop on over to her blog and say hi and congrats if you haven't already.

Congratulations, Kasie! Love you girl!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Something, Something, Something--Dark Side (again)

I'm still recovering from a wonderful weekend of writerly conference bliss. I always feel like my tank is refilled after spending time with other writers. However, staying up until after 2am several nights in a row does require a bit of resting up before I'm ready to dive back in. So, one more revisit to a fun post from about a year ago.

...I'm beginning to wonder why all my old posts involve injuries to my body or my pride. I'll ponder that while I take a nap on my couch.

There is something sinister going on at Gold's Gym. Not to worry, it isn't just any Gold's Gym--it isn't even my Gold's Gym--it is a nearby Gold's Gym that has gone over to the dark side.

Trust me, we're talking wicked voodoo magic here. It's the only possible explanation for the events that have occurred in this particular gym location...or at least the only one I'm willing to admit.

Regular readers of my blog may already be aware of another *ahem* mishap I had on a gym excursion before. It may have involved a treadmill and a Cardio Cinema--lethal combination. This is part of my proof that something dark is happening here because it was at the SAME GYM LOCATION! *buh buh buum!*

Let me tell you of the unfortunate incident that occurred on Friday, February 26th, 2010.

It was a cold, wet day. I was in a different part of town than I usually roam. A place known in local circles as A.F. I went about my routine as usual. I swam my laps, then stretched in the hot tub and sauna--exactly as I do several times a week in my own gym to no ill effect. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred. After a few minutes in the steam room, I grabbed my towel and walked into the locker room.

As usual, I'd forgotten which locker I had placed my bag in. I paced back and forth, trying to remember where I'd been standing, but somehow...everything seemed different. Finally, I remembered it had been locker 13. Yes, locker 13--mysterious, no? That was when it hit me...

I was surrounded by men.

Men in towels, with jaws hanging wide open.

Yes, I'd been walking around in the men's locker room for over a minute.

Naturally, I handled the situation with grace and dignity. I threw my towel over my head, screamed, "Aaahhh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" and ran out of the locker room.

As I stood, panting by the pool, I couldn't help but hear the outburst of laughter from the men who'd witnessed my unfortunate incident.

Now you've seen the evidence, you decide. Were there sinister machinations at work? Or was I just silly enough not to realize that the locker rooms were swapped from their locations at my normal gym?

One word of warning. Your responses may or may not determine whether I give you a cookie.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Writing Conference & Flashback PSA

Hello everyone, this week I'm at a writing conference! In order to prevent you dying of sheer jealousy, I felt I would do a flashback to a particularly painful post from the past--literally, painful.

Consider this a Public Service Announcement from me to you. It could very well save your life. Pay attention:

The Cardio Cinema may be hazardous to your health.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Cardio Cinema, let me explain. It is a special movie theater in a gym. The lights are low, the movie is loud and intense--and you are on the exercise equipment of your choice.

If, like me, you are an unbelievable can be a lethal combination.

Let me set a scene for you. Let me clarify that by doing so, I am in no way admitting to a similar situation in which I developed bruises all over my body.

I repeat, I admit nothing.

Let's say someone entered the Cardio Cinema, prepared for some jogging time on the treadmill. A dark, intense movie is in full swing--"Mission Impossible" perhaps, maybe near the end when they're on the train and it's very dark.

This person may find an empty treadmill and finally, through the aid of a cell phone light, find that stupid "Quick Start" button. Success! They are jogging, they are enjoying a good movie, they don't even have to think about the fact that they're exercising.

Quickly, they become so engrossed in the movie, there is no attention paid to the exercise equipment. The left foot may wander to the unmoving edge of the treadmill, where it is puzzled when it is no longer moving. The right foot meanwhile is still trying to keep the body upright so it moves twice as fast while screaming, "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

Even in this precarious state, the rebelling eyes are still desperately watching Tom Cruise to see if he gets decapitated by the helicopter blade--after all, he seems to be in more danger than some random person on a treadmill... right?


What happens then, you may ask. Well, I suppose they could fall on their stomachs and get flung off the back of the treadmill, just as the scene moves to a lighted interior train car. Yes, the timing is perfect for everyone behind them to gasp and stare.

Desperate to avoid someone calling 911, this person may jump to their feet as though this was a planned stunt to go along with the movie. A little wave of the hand will surely settle everyone down as they climb back on the treadmill and quietly whisper, "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" under their breath until everyone's eyes return the the movie screen.

Yes, it could happen.

So, let me caution you. If you are going to use a Cardio Cinema, choose a well lit movie and keep your eyes on your feet.

Thank you for your time.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day a.k.a. I Get Accosted During Romantic Dinner

For Valentine's Day, I'd like to give you all a gift. The wonderful gift of a story.

I know you all love my stories because most of them end in embarrassment on my part and laughing on yours. This is my gift to you. It's okay, you can say it--

best. gift. ever.

So, this weekend, I was having a romantic Valentine's dinner with my husband at a local Italian restaurant. The food was delicious, the atmosphere romantic. It was perfect. My husband was telling me about some plans he had for us after dinner when an elderly Italian woman walked up and sat down in the booth beside me and started petting my hair.

My husband stopped mid-sentence and I tried to figure out what to do. How was I supposed to respond to this? I came up with something genius.


She smiled and continued playing my hair. "Hello."

My husband tried not to laugh and I tried not to kick him.

"You have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen in my life. Did you know you have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen?"

"Umm, thanks. I do now."

Then she stuck one wrinkled finger in my face and shook it. "You never cut this. Do you hear me? Never!"

"Oh." I hate making promises I know I won't keep.

Sensing my reluctance to make the promise, she aimed her finger at my hubby. "You! Never let her cut this. You say--yes."

My husband nodded. "Okay, yes." I glared at him.

The old woman was mollified and I thought she might leave, but instead, she turned on everyone around us. The people at other tables, and two waiters all had to answer whether they agreed that I had the most beautiful hair they'd ever seen.

Most of them nodded, a few decided to answer a suddenly urgent call of nature. I wished I could do the same, but she had me blocked in. I grabbed a breadstick and tried to sink down under the table but she kept pulling on my ringlets and giggling as they bounced back into place.

Finally, she stood and touched the receding hairline of our poor waiter. With a frown she shook her hair.

"No. Not as pretty. Not at all."

Then she walked away.

I've never seen my husband laugh so hard. Well, at least until I kicked him.

When I called my awesome friend Kasie yesterday and told her the story, she cracked up and then responded, "That is exactly the kind of old woman I want to be. Hold on, tell me again, I need to take notes."

I'm pretty sure she was serious.

How would you have responded? Hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day!!!