For Valentine's Day, I'd like to give you all a gift. The wonderful gift of a story.
I know you all love my stories because most of them end in embarrassment on my part and laughing on yours. This is my gift to you. It's okay, you can say it--
best. gift. ever.
So, this weekend, I was having a romantic Valentine's dinner with my husband at a local Italian restaurant. The food was delicious, the atmosphere romantic. It was perfect. My husband was telling me about some plans he had for us after dinner when an elderly Italian woman walked up and sat down in the booth beside me and started petting my hair.
My husband stopped mid-sentence and I tried to figure out what to do. How was I supposed to respond to this? I came up with something genius.
She smiled and continued playing my hair. "Hello."
My husband tried not to laugh and I tried not to kick him.
"You have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen in my life. Did you know you have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen?"
"Umm, thanks. I do now."
Then she stuck one wrinkled finger in my face and shook it. "You never cut this. Do you hear me? Never!"
"Oh." I hate making promises I know I won't keep.
Sensing my reluctance to make the promise, she aimed her finger at my hubby. "You! Never let her cut this. You say--yes."
My husband nodded. "Okay, yes." I glared at him.
The old woman was mollified and I thought she might leave, but instead, she turned on everyone around us. The people at other tables, and two waiters all had to answer whether they agreed that I had the most beautiful hair they'd ever seen.
Most of them nodded, a few decided to answer a suddenly urgent call of nature. I wished I could do the same, but she had me blocked in. I grabbed a breadstick and tried to sink down under the table but she kept pulling on my ringlets and giggling as they bounced back into place.
Finally, she stood and touched the receding hairline of our poor waiter. With a frown she shook her hair.
"No. Not as pretty. Not at all."
Then she walked away.
I've never seen my husband laugh so hard. Well, at least until I kicked him.
When I called my awesome friend Kasie yesterday and told her the story, she cracked up and then responded, "That is exactly the kind of old woman I want to be. Hold on, tell me again, I need to take notes."
I'm pretty sure she was serious.
How would you have responded? Hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day!!!