Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Yeah, I'm That Girl
Here it is: as an author, I can be very insecure.
And I highly doubt I'm the only one.
I work extremely hard at my craft. I strive to improve with each book and I spend as much time reading and learning from other authors as I can. I've spent up to 18 hours in one day working on revisions or edits. I'm lucky enough to have amazing critique partners and I do not take them for granted. Any feedback I get from them I take seriously. But I don't give my book to them until I've made it as good as I possibly can without help. By the time I'm ready for beta readers, my book has already been through several rounds of revisions and more hours of work than I can count. By that time, I'm more than invested, I'm in love.
When I send my book off to my beta readers, it's like introducing my loved ones to my fiancé. Do I realize that he might have a few flaws? Of course. Do I want more than anything in the world for them to love him anyway? Absolutely.
I bite my fingernails to tiny stubs, dive into reading two books a day to distract myself. I go on long drives (but not out of service for my smart phone, of course...that would be insane), start drafting new projects, put together outlines for the next three books down the line...anything to keep my mind off of what is happening.
I become a puddle of insecure writer goo. Yeah, I'm that girl. The one that twiddles her thumbs in the corner and watches her e-mail and phone with sad puppy dog eyes hoping for good news.
It isn't easy. It's actually quite miserable and nerve-wracking. But I wouldn't have it any other way, because that would mean I don't care as much as I should.
How much do you care? Do you become a puddle of goo?
And if you missed my Too Many Books Giveaway, don't forget to go enter! :)